Sept.Humour

Costume Party

A couple was invited to a swanky costume party. The Mrs. got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.
He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going.
So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, decided to go the party.
Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice woman he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished , naturally, since he was her husband.
Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed.
So off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had. He said: "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
- "Did you dance much ?"
- "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to...."

Finally , the guys' side of the story
( I must admit, it's pretty good)


We always hear
'the rules'
>From the female side
Now here are the rules from the male side




These are our rules!
Please note... they are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!


1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one! Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have NO idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really!

1. Don 't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, sex, hooters, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! Straight IS a shape! Flat IS a shape!& lt; SPAN class=EC_apple-converted-space>

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Sorry if any are repeats:

A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, 'How should I know, that's 1200 miles from here!' and hung up.
The husband said, 'Who was that?'
The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'


SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up.
She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'
The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!' So the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second one looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'

THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.
She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'
The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'

FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them.'
A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?'
The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy! It's 'W.'

FIFTH DEGREE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
'Is it mine?'

SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US government class.
The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.
Bambi pondered the question, then finally said, 'That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware '

SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house had been burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the e sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen, I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman.'

Importance of Walking


----- Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.



My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60.
Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is.


The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.


I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I hav e flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.


The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.


If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.



..............And last but not least,



You could run this over to your friends but why not just e-mail it to them!

A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in, and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby."
The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby, Doctor? What's wrong??"
The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite."
The woman says, "A hermaphrodite.... what's that???"
The doctor says, "Well, it means your baby has the... er... features...of a male and a female."
The woman turns pale. She says, "Oh my god! You mean it has a penis AND a brain?"

John McCain and Barack Obama somehow ended up at the same barbershop.
As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a
word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation,
for fear it would turn to politics.

As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Obama in his
chair reached for the aftershave. Obama was quick to stop him saying,
'No thanks, my wife Michelle will smell that and think I've been in a
whorehouse.'

The second barber turned to McCain and said, 'How about you?'

McCain replied, 'Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a
whorehouse smells like!!

And Then The Fight Started.





When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive....
so, I took her to a gas station.....

And then the fight started....

************************************************************************

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license
to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my
wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and
come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me'
and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too'

And then the fight started.....

***********************************************************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table.

My wife asked,' Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started.....

***********************************************************************

I rear-ended a car this morning.

So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out
of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things
just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT
HAPPY!!!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started.....

THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!!

If you are 30 or older you will relate to this!!!!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears
With their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When
they were growing up; what with walking Twenty-five miles to school
every morning

... Uphill... barefoot.

BOTH ways

Yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up,
There was no way in hell I was going to lay

A bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it

And how easy they've got it!

But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of
Thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of
today.

You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my
Childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!

And I hate to say it but you kids today you
Don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we
wanted to know something, We had to go to the damn library and
Look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write
Somebody a letter, with a pen!

...Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put
it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to
Steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and
shoplift it yourself!

Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and
the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!


We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you
Were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy
signal, that's it!

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either!
When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be
your school,
Your mom, your boss, your Bookie, your drug dealer, a
collections agent, you
Just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your
chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video
Games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600!
With games
Like 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids'. Your guy was a little
square! You Actually had to use your Imagination!! And there were no
multiple levels or Screens, it was just one screen
Forever!

And you could never win. The game just kept getting
Harder and harder and
Faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!


You had to use a Little book called a TV Guide to find out what
was On! You were screwed when it Came to channel surfing! You had
to get off Your ass and walk over to the TV to change the Channel and
there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons
On Saturday Morning. Do you Hear what I'm saying!?! We had to
wait ALL WEEK For cartoons, you spoiled Little rat-bastards!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat
Something up we had to use the stove ... Imagine that!

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids
Today have got it too easy.
You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted
Five minutes back in 1980!

Regards,
The over 30 Crowd

Keep em comming!

WIFE:

What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?

HUSBAND:

Definitely not!



WIFE:

Why not - don't you like being married?



HUSBAND:

Of course I do.



WIFE:

Then why wouldn't you remarry?



HUSBAND:

Okay, I'd get married again.



WIFE:

You would? (With a hurtful look on her face).



HUSBAND:

(Makes audible groan).



WIFE:

Would you live in our house?



HUSBAND:

Sure, it's a great house.



WIFE:

Would you sleep with her in our bed?



HUSBAND:

Where else would we sleep?



WIFE:

Would you let her drive my car?



HUSBAND:

Probably, it is almost new.



WIFE:

Would you replace my pictures with hers?



HUSBAND:

That would seem like the proper thing to do.



WIFE:

Would she use my golf clubs?



HUSBAND:

No, she's left-handed.



WIFE:
- silence - -



HUSBAND:
F*** ....

SPAGHETTI

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.

One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to
ruin his reputation or his marriage, He paid her a large sum of money if
she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy
to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child
turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was
born.!

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and
write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the child
support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
'Honey,' she said, 'You received a very strange post card today.' Oh,
just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said. The wife obeyed
and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written: 'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti,
Spaghetti.
Three with meatballs, two without. Send extra sauce.'

KIDS IN CHURCH
3-year-old Reese :
'Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
Harold is His name.
Amen.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





A little boy was overheard praying:
'Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.
I'm having a real good time like I am.'





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





After the christening of his baby brother in church,
Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied,
'That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home,
and I wanted to stay with you guys.'





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





One particular four-year-old prayed,
'And forgive us our trash baskets
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.'





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they
were on the way to church service,
'And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?'
One bright little girl replied,
'Because people are sleeping.'





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
'If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,
' Ryan , you be Jesus !'





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





A father was at the beach with his children
when the four-year-old son ran up to him,
grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
'Daddy, what happened to him?' the son asked.
'He died and went to Heaven,' the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said,
'Did God throw him back down?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





A wife invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
'Would you like to say the blessing?'
'I wouldn't know what to say,' the girl replied.
'Just say what you hear Mommy say,' the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
'Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?'

You may already be applying this advice:





Good Market Sense



Normally I avoid discussing any advice regarding buying or

selling of stocks, but I felt this is important enough to

share and warn you since this explosive situation might

prove to be yet another ENRON. Please review any holdings

you might have in the following stocks: American Can,

Interstate Water, National Gas Company, Northern Tissue

Company.



Due to uncertain market conditions, I advise you to sit

tight on your American Can, hold your Water, and let go of

your Gas. You may be interested to know that Northern Tissue

touched a new bottom yesterday, and millions were wiped clean.



It's a tough market out there. Be careful!

L

A Robbery at the Royal Bank in Cape Breton.

An armed balaclava clad robber bursts into a Royal Bank in Cape Breton and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash.

On his way out the door with the loot one brave customer grabs the balaclava and pulls it off revealing the robber's face.

The robber shoots the guy in the head without hesitation!

He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him.

One of the tellers is looking straight at him and the robber walks over and calmly shoots him in the head also.

Everyone by now is very scared and looking down at the floor.

'Did anyone else see my face?' calls the robber.

There is a few moments silence then one elderly Cape Breton gent, looking down, tentatively raises his hand and says,

'I think my wife may have caught a glimpse ....'.

The Recently Opened "Husband Store"



A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:


You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!


So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:


Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth f loor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.


PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.


The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

Ha ve you ever wondered where and how yodeling began?




Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of Switzerland



Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night.



The farmer told him that he could sleep in the barn.



As the story goes, the farmer's daughter asked her father, 'Who is that man going into the barn?'






'That fellow traveling through,' said the farmer. 'needs a place to stay for
the night, so, I told him he could sleep in the barn.'



The daughter said, 'Perhaps he is hungry.' So she prepared him a plate of food
for him and then took it out to the barn



About an hour later, the daughter returned. Her clothing disheveled and straw in her hair. Straight up to bed she went.



The farmer's wife was very observant. She then suggested that perhaps the man was thirsty. So she fetched a bottle of wine, took it out to the barn and she
too did not return for an hour. Her clothing was askew, her blouse buttoned incorrectly. She also headed straight to bed.



The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn got up and continued on his journey, waving to the farmer as he left.






When the daughter awoke and learned that the visitor was gone, she broke into
tears. 'How could he leave without even saying goodbye,' she cried. 'We made
such passionate love last night!'



'What?' shouted the father as he angrily ran out of the house looking for the man, who by now was halfway up the mountain.






The farmer screamed up at him, 'I'm going to get you,

You had sex with my daughter!'







The man looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his hand next to his mouth, and yelled out.....











'LAIDTHEOLADEETOO '

Old Josh was sat in his garden, sunbathing in the deck chair when he noticed his grand-son kneeling on the lawn with a worm. When he asked his grandson what he was doing, he found that he was trying to push the worm down the hole from which it came.

"If you can get that worm back in that hole I'll give you ten dollars," said Josh.

His grandson sat and thought for a moment, then rushed into the house. A few minutes later he returned with his mother's hair spray. He picked up the worm by one end and, as he let it hang down, he sprayed it all over with the hair spray. The spray set and the worm became stiff and hard. It was now easy to push the worm back in the hole. Josh was amazed. He gave the boy ten dollars, picked up the hair spray and went indoors.

About an hour later Josh came back into the garden and gave his grand-son another ten dollars.

"But grandpa," said the boy, "you've already given me the ten dollars you promised."

"That's from your grandma," said Josh.

NO SEX SINCE 1955


A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major

for conversation.

'Excuse me , Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?'

'Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature.'

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, 'It looks like you have seen a lot of action.'

'Yes, ma'am, a lot of action.'

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, 'You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.'

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, 'You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?'

' 1955, ma'am.'

'Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955!' She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to 'relax' him several times.

Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, 'Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!'

The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his serious voice, 'I hope not, it's only 2130 now.'

(Don't ya love military time?!)

Newfie Doctor

A Doctor in Newfoundland wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant "Garge, I am going hunting tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all my patients".

"Yes, sir!" answers Garge. The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: “So,Garge, How was your day?"

Garge told him that he took care of three patients. "The first one had a headache so I gave him TYLENOL."

"Bravo Mate, and the second one?" asks the doctor. "The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, sir" says Garge. "Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks The doctor.

"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters. Like a flame, she undresses herself, taking off everything including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts: 'HELP ME! For five years I have not seen any man!'"

"Tunderin' lard Jesus Garge, what did you do?" asks the doctor.

"I put drops in her eyes."

At first I thought this was funny...then I realized the awful truth of it.
Be sure to read all the way to the end


The Tax Poem

Tax his land, Tax his bed,
Tax the table, At which he's fed.
Tax his tractor, Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes, Are the rule.

Tax his work, Tax his pay,
He works for peanuts, Anyway!
Tax his cow, Tax his goat,
Tax his pants, Tax his coat.

Tax his ties, Tax his shirt,
Tax his work, Tax his dirt.
Tax his tobacco, Tax his drink,
Tax him if he tries to think.

Tax his cigars, Tax his beers,
If he cries, Tax his tears.
Tax his car, Tax his gas,
Find other ways to tax his ass.

Tax all he has, Then let him know,
That you won't be done, Till he has no dough.
When he screams and hollers, then tax him more,
Tax him till he's good and sore.

Then tax his coffin, Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he's laid.
Put these words, Upon his tomb,
'Taxes drove me to my doom...'

When he's gone, Do not relax,
Its time to apply.....

The Inheritance Tax
Accounts Receivable Tax
Airline Surcharge tax
Airline Fuel Tax
Airport Maintenance Tax
Building Permit Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Death Tax
Dog License Tax
Driving Permit Tax
Employee Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment (UI)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Gasoline Tax ( too much per litre)
Gross Receipts Tax
Health Tax
Hunting License Tax
Hydro Tax
Inheritance Tax
Interest Tax
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Mortgage Tax
Personal Income Tax
Poverty Tax
Prescription Drug Tax
Property Tax
Provincial Income Tax
Real Estate Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
Retail Sales Tax
Service Charge Tax
School Tax
Telephone Federal Tax
Telephone Federal, Provincial and Local Surcharge Taxes
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Water Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax .....


STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago,
our nation was one of the most prosperous in the world.
We had absolutely no national debt,
had a large middle class,
and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

What in the hell happened????

Can you spell 'politicians'????

Windex Use

I didn't check Snopes or Hoax-busters to see if

this actually works or if it's a scam or hoax.


It has been said that....

If you ever get the sudden

Urge to run around naked,

You should spray yourself with

Some Windex immediately......

It'll keep you from streaking.




Have a Great Day